Funny Bagel Puns and Jokes That Are a Hole Lot of Fun

bagel jokes

Hot Picks

  • “Don’t worry, be bagel-y!” 
  • “Life is butter with a bagel in hand.” 
  • “I’m on a roll and feeling hole-some!” 
  • “You’re my everything bagel in a plain world.” 
  • “Bagel-ieve in yourself and anything is possible.” 

Bagels: the breakfast hero, the carb-filled comfort, and now, the pun-packed delight. Whether you’re an everything bagel enthusiast or a plain lover with a twist, there’s no denying the joy a perfectly toasted bagel can bring. 

But what if we told you that bagels aren’t just delicious, they’re downright hilarious? From doughy wordplay to schmear-worthy laughs, we’ve got a batch of bagel puns so fresh they’ll make you roll with laughter.

Why Are Puns About Bagels So Punny?

Bagel jokes and puns are irresistibly punny because they combine the universal love for this iconic breakfast treat with clever wordplay that tickles the funny bone. With their round shape, versatile toppings, and “hole-y” nature, bagels provide endless opportunities for creative humor. Words like “roll,” “schmear,” and “everything” double as playful puns, making them a natural fit for jokes that are both relatable and deliciously witty. Plus, who doesn’t love a joke that’s as satisfying as a perfectly toasted bagel?

bagel puns

Funny Bagel Puns 

  • I’m on a roll with these bagels! 
  • You’re my everything—like my favorite bagel. 
  • Let’s dough-nut take bagels for granted. 
  • Stop loafing around and grab a bagel! 
  • You’re looking un-bread-ibly cute today. 
  • I’ve got a hole lotta love for bagels. 
  • Bagels make life schmear-tacular. 
  • I knead you like a bagel needs cream cheese. 
  • Feeling plain? Toast your spirits with a bagel! 
  • You butter believe this bagel is amazing! 
  • These puns are everything bagel-level good. 
  • Let’s raisin the bar with cinnamon bagels! 
  • Let’s roll into the weekend with bagels. 
  • Bagels: the hole-y grail of breakfast foods. 
  • Life is better when it’s bagel-icious.

Monkey Puns & Jokes

Funny Bagel jokes 

  • Why don’t bagels ever get into arguments? They just roll with it. 
  • What did the bagel say to the toaster? “I’m feeling a little hot under the collar!” 
  • Why did the bagel go to the therapist? It had too many holes in its life. 
  • How do bagels stay in shape? They do “roll-ups!” 
  • Why are bagels terrible at baseball? They always strike out! 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good roll beat. 
  • Why did the bagel bring a ladder? To raisin itself up! 
  • What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel! 
  • How do bagels greet each other? “Nice to schmear you!” 
  • Why did the bagel blush? It saw the cream cheese spread. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite type of math? Dough-geometry! 
  • Why don’t bagels ever get lonely? They’ve got a hole lot of friends. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite holiday? Toast-er Sunday! 
  • Why did the bagel need glasses? It lost its focus. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite workout? Aerobic “roll-er” blading.

Cute Bagel Puns 

  • You’re the bagel to my cream cheese. 
  • I’m totally schmear-ing my love for you! 
  • Life without you is un-bread-able. 
  • You’re my butter half! 
  • We’re on a roll together. 
  • You’re berry special, just like my bagel. 
  • I loaf you a lot. 
  • You’re everything I’ve been searching for. 
  • Bagel-ieve in yourself! 
  • You’re one in a dozen. 
  • I can’t espresso how much I knead you. 
  • Let’s stick together like cream cheese and bagels. 
  • You’re raisin my spirits! 
  • We’re butter together. 
  • You make my mornings schmear-tastic.

Bagel Dad Jokes

  • What did the bagel say when it won the lottery? “I’m rolling in dough!” 
  • How do bagels stay calm? They take it one schmear at a time. 
  • Why are bagels so polite? They know how to roll with the punches. 
  • What do bagels do on vacation? They loaf around! 
  • Why are bagels terrible singers? They always go flat. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? Dough yoga! 
  • Why did the bagel refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get toasted. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? The Breakfast Club! 
  • What do you call a bagel that tells jokes? A pun-kin spice bagel! 
  • Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little bready. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite hobby? Loafing around! 
  • Why don’t bagels need makeup? They’re naturally “glazed.” 
  • How do bagels apologize? “I’m sorry—I’m in a hole lot of trouble!” 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite pet? A dough-berman. 
  • Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always follow their “roll-models.”
jokes about bagels

Bagel Puns For Teachers 

  • You’re the cream cheese to our bagels, holding everything together. 
  • Teaching us is no small feat—you’re everything we knead! 
  • Thanks for helping us rise to the occasion! 
  • This class is everything bagel-level good. 
  • You buttered us up to learn! 
  • Bagel-ieve in your students, and they’ll do great things. 
  • You’re the “hole-y” grail of teaching. 
  • Thanks for “toasting” us to be the best! 
  • Your lessons are everything and more! 
  • You make learning a schmear delight. 
  • Thanks for being the bagel to our educational journey. 
  • You’re raisin the bar for teachers everywhere. 
  • We appreciate your roll in our lives! 
  • A bagel can’t thank you enough for all you do. 
  • Your guidance is the perfect spread of wisdom.

Bagel Thank You Puns

  • Thanks for being the everything to our plain! 
  • You’ve bagel-ieved in us, and we’re grateful. 
  • We knead you to know how much we appreciate you! 
  • You’re everything and a schmear. 
  • Thanks for toasting us to success! 
  • You buttered up our spirits—thank you! 
  • Our gratitude is fresh-baked for you. 
  • Thanks for rolling with us through thick and thin. 
  • You’re the best thing since sliced bagels! 
  • Thanks for adding flavor to our lives. 
  • You’ve got a hole lot of love from us! 
  • We’re on a roll because of you—thank you! 
  • You’re raisin our spirits with your kindness. 
  • Thanks for spreading joy like cream cheese. 
  • Bagel-ieve us when we say you’re the best!

Bagel Appreciation Puns

  • Bagels and you make life a little sweeter! 
  • Thanks for being everything we knead. 
  • A toast to your amazingness! 
  • We donut know what we’d do without you. 
  • You’re the hole package! 
  • Thanks for rolling with us through it all. 
  • You buttered up our day in the best way. 
  • Life’s better with bagels—and with you! 
  • You’re everything bagel-level awesome. 
  • A schmear thank you for all you do! 
  • We loaf you so much. 
  • You’ve got a hole lot of our appreciation. 
  • Thanks for raisin our spirits! 
  • You’re as special as a fresh bagel. 
  • Bagel-ieve us, you’re incredible!

Bagel Birthday Puns

  • You’re on a roll—happy birthday! 
  • Hope your day is everything and more! 
  • Let’s toast to you on your special day! 
  • You’re raisin the bar on birthdays. 
  • Have a schmear-tastic birthday! 
  • Happy birthday—let’s bagel-ieve in cake too! 
  • You’re the cream cheese to our celebration. 
  • Don’t loaf around—enjoy your day! 
  • Have a hole lot of fun today! 
  • You’re everything and then some—happy birthday! 
  • Bagel-ieve it’s your birthday? Celebrate! 
  • You butter believe it’s going to be a great day! 
  • You’re a star among the bagels—happy birthday! 
  • Roll into your new year with joy! 
  • Have a bagel-icious birthday filled with laughter!

Pink Puns & Jokes

Bagel Jokes For Kids

  • Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the schmear side! 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite superhero? Captain Crust! 
  • Why did the bagel bring a suitcase? It was going on a “roll-ing” vacation! 
  • What do bagels do at school? Learn dough-math! 
  • Why don’t bagels ever tell secrets? They’re afraid of being toasted! 
  • What do you call a bagel that loves telling jokes? A pun-kin spice bagel! 
  • How do bagels stay warm in the winter? They wear their “bagel-ette” coats! 
  • Why did the bagel go to the gym? To get its roll in shape. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite game? Musical chairs—because they love rolls! 
  • Why do bagels make great friends? They’re always on a roll! 
  • What do bagels say to each other in the morning? “Bagel-icious day, isn’t it?” 
  • Why are bagels terrible at sports? They always knead a time-out. 
  • What’s a bagel’s favorite holiday? National Toast Day! 
  • Why did the bagel fail its test? It got all the answers glazed over. 
  • What do you call a bagel with a sweet tooth? A sprinkle bagel!
bagel puns one liners

Funny Bagel Sayings 

  • “You’re my everything bagel in a plain world.” 
  • “Bagels are proof that carbs are worth it.” 
  • “Toast the day with a bagel and a smile.” 
  • “Bagels: the real breakfast MVP.” 
  • “Dough-n’t mess with my bagel time.” 
  • “Bagels make mornings less crumby.” 
  • “Life is better with a schmear of joy.” 
  • “Rolling into the day, one bagel at a time.” 
  • “Bagels are the hole story of happiness.” 
  • “Don’t worry, be bagel-y.” 
  • “Start your day with a hole lot of love.” 
  • “Bagels: the bread that’s always in the loop.” 
  • “You butter believe this bagel is amazing.” 
  • “Bagels are love in circular form.” 
  • “Keep calm and schmear on.”

Bagel Christmas Puns 

  • Have a holly, jolly bagel-mas! 
  • Wishing you a bagel-icious holiday season. 
  • Deck the bagels with cream cheese and joy! 
  • Bagel-ieve in the magic of Christmas. 
  • “Oh hole-y night,” it’s bagel time! 
  • Spread some schmear and holiday cheer. 
  • All I want for Christmas is… bagels! 
  • Bagel your halls with laughter and love. 
  • Santa kneads some bagels for his journey. 
  • Toasting to a merry and bright holiday! 
  • It’s the most bagel-ful time of the year. 
  • Cinnamon raisin the holiday spirits! 
  • Rolling through Christmas with a bagel in hand. 
  • “Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll!” 
  •  Butter watch out, bagels are coming to town!

Bagel Puns for Instagram Captions 

  • “You’re looking at the cream of the crop.” 
  • “On a roll and feeling hole-some.” 
  • “Bagel-icious vibes only.” 
  • “Don’t worry, be bagel-y!” 
  • “Bagel-ieve in yourself and anything is possible.” 
  • “Life is butter with a bagel in hand.” 
  • “Everything I knead is right here.” 
  • “Rolling through life one bagel at a time.” 
  • “Bagel goals: always fresh, always fabulous.” 
  • “Hole-y moly, this bagel is amazing!” 
  • “Start your day with a little schmear and a smile.” 
  • “Just dough-ing my thing.” 
  • “Bagel love is the best kind of love.” 
  • “Who needs a crown when you’ve got a bagel?” 
  • “Toast to the good vibes only!”

Bagel Love Puns

  • “You’re the cream cheese to my bagel.” 
  • “I love you a hole lot.” 
  • “We’re butter together.” 
  • “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a bagel.” 
  • “Bagel-ieve me, I’m crazy about you.” 
  • “My love for you is un-bread-ibly strong.” 
  • “You’ve got me in a loop of love.” 
  • “We make the perfect schmear-tastic pair.” 
  • “You’re raisin my spirits every day.” 
  • “Bagel-ieve in love at first bite.” 
  • “I knead you in my life.” 
  • “You butter up my mornings with joy.” 
  • “Life is hole-some with you around.” 
  • “Our love is everything, just like this bagel.” 
  • “I loaf you more than words can express.”

Short Bagel One-Liner

  • “I’m on a roll today!” 
  • “Bagel-icious and proud of it.” 
  • “Feeling schmear-tastic!” 
  • “Dough-nut stop believing.” 
  • “Hole-y smokes, this bagel is good.” 
  • “Raisin the bar one bagel at a time.” 
  • “Butter together, always.” 
  • “Bagel love is the best kind of love.” 
  • “Toast to a great day!” 
  • “Bagel-ieve in the power of carbs.” 
  • “Rolling into the weekend like a bagel.” 
  • “Schmear joy, not negativity.” 
  • “Bagels are my jam.” 
  • “In a loop of happiness.” 
  • “Breakfast is better with a bagel in hand.”

Strawberry Puns & Jokes

Bagel Punny Names

  • Everything Eva 
  • Plain Jane 
  • Cinnamon Sally 
  • Toasty Tom 
  • Schmeara 
  • Raisin Ray 
  • Buttercup Bagel 
  • Loafy Larry 
  • Bagelicious Bella 
  • Creamy Chris 
  • Hole-y Hannah 
  • Glazed Grace 
  • Dough-licious Dave 
  • Sesame Sam 
  • Rolling Ruby

Double Meaning Bagel Wordplay

  • “I’m totally on a roll!” (Bagels and momentum) 
  • “You’re everything to me!” (Bagel flavor and love) 
  • “Stop loafing around!” (Relaxing and bagels) 
  • “Life’s a hole lot better with bagels.” (Bagels and fullness) 
  • “You’re raisin my spirits!” (Bagels and encouragement) 
  • “Spread the love, like cream cheese.” (Bagels and kindness) 
  • “Dough-nut give up!” (Persistence and bagel humor) 
  • “Butter believe it’s a great day!” (Optimism and toppings) 
  • “This is the cream of the crop.” (Bagels and excellence) 
  • “Bagel-ieve in yourself!” (Bagels and self-confidence) 
  • “Rolling through life, one bite at a time.” (Bagels and progress) 
  • “Let’s toast to new beginnings!” (Bagels and celebrations) 
  • “Hole-y moly, this is amazing!” (Surprise and bagel shape) 
  • “Keep calm and schmear on.” (Bagels and resilience) 
  • “I knead you like dough needs to rise.” (Bagels and love).

Tips For Choosing The Perfect Jokes About Bagels 

  • Know Your Audience: Tailor your bagel jokes to your audience’s preferences. Kids might love silly and lighthearted puns like, “Why did the bagel bring a ladder? To reach new heights!” Adults, on the other hand, might appreciate clever wordplay or double entendres. 
  • Keep It Fresh: Avoid overused or stale jokes by finding unique angles. A fresh twist, like jokes about bagel toppings or bagel history, can keep the humor alive and entertaining. 
  • Play With Bagel Themes: Lean into bagel-related themes such as flavors, toppings, or breakfast habits. For instance, “What’s a bagel’s favorite type of movie? A roll-mantic comedy!” 
  • Add a Schmear of Humor: Incorporate playful language tied to bagels and their accompaniments. Words like “schmear,” “dough,” and “everything” make your jokes more relatable and fun. Example: “Bagels are just dough-nuts that grew up and got serious!” 
  • Keep It Short and Snappy: The best bagel jokes are easy to remember and quick to deliver. One-liners like, “I’m on a roll!” are perfect for making people laugh without missing a beat.

FAQs

“Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the schmear side!”

Absolutely! Use them as icebreakers, on party invitations, or even as part of the décor for a bagel-themed brunch or gathering.

“You’re my everything bagel.” “You butter believe you’re awesome.” “Thanks for being a schmear delight!”

They’re easy to understand, relatable, and combine food humor with clever wordplay, making them universally appealing.

Conclusion

Bagel jokes and puns bring a unique blend of humor and flavor to the table, making them an easy way to spread smiles and laughter. Whether you’re sharing them with friends, adding a witty caption to your Instagram post, or simply enjoying a hearty laugh with your morning breakfast, bagel humor is truly hole-some entertainment. With a variety of categories and creative wordplay, there’s a bagel pun or joke for everyone.